For a long time, I thought I was organized. Prepared. On top of things.

What I didn’t realize was that I was actually causing myself anxiety.

At the time, it felt responsible. Smart. Even necessary.

But here’s what it really looked like.

I rehearsed conversations in my head. Not the good ones. Only the bad ones. The awkward ones. The ones where I said the wrong thing.

If I felt even a little pressure in my chest, I Googled symptoms “just to check.” And if you’ve ever done that, you already know how that ends.

When I sat down at a restaurant, I automatically scoped out the exits. Not because I planned to leave, but in case a panic attack hit and I needed to escape it.

And I canceled plans at the last minute. Not because I didn’t care, but because the closer it got, the louder the anxiety got.

So I made excuses. Said I didn’t feel well. Said something came up. And I hated lying about it.

I told myself I was being aware. In control. Doing the “right” things.

But it was exhausting.

What finally clicked was this: those habits weren’t protecting me. They were creating the anxiety.

My mind wasn’t rehearsing success. It was rehearsing worst-case scenarios.

It wasn’t looking for reassurance. It was looking for confirmation that something was wrong.

And my body reacted to that constant internal pressure exactly the way you’d expect.

Once I started breaking those patterns — stopping the rehearsing, stopping the Googling, stopping the escape planning — I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Peace.

Not because life suddenly got easier. But because I stopped beating myself up internally all day long.

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Yeah… that’s me,” you’re not alone. And you don’t have to keep living this way.

If you want help changing these patterns and lowering the anxiety that comes with them, you can schedule a Strategy Session with me. We’ll get clarity on what’s keeping you stuck and what working together would actually look like.

Let’s Connect
If this resonated with you, you can reach me directly at Vinnie@LifeCoachVinnie.com, or connect with me on Facebook or Instagram.

About Vinnie Merz
​Vinnie Merz is a life coach who helps high-performers take control of their anxiety and achieve their goals. With a background in law, real estate, and state government, Vinnie has led high-pressure teams and businesses while navigating anxiety himself. His coaching focuses on practical, real-world strategies that help driven professionals build calm, clarity, and confidence without pretending anxiety doesn’t exist.