This is one of those things I never noticed until someone forced me to.

I honestly never paid attention to how I talked to myself until I hired my first life coach, Alice. She had me do something simple that sounded almost pointless at the time. She told me to track how often I said negative things to myself.

I remember thinking, “How bad could it really be?”

Turns out… pretty bad.

At that point in my life, things were rough across the board. Jacquelyn and I weren’t getting along. We were business partners too, which didn’t help. The business had no leads, no deals, nothing moving. Money was tight and getting tighter, and we were getting dangerously close to losing our house. It was a brutal stretch.

But what shocked me wasn’t just how bad things were on the outside. It was how I talked to myself while all of this was happening.

Once I actually started paying attention, I couldn’t believe how often I was tearing myself down. The running commentary in my head was relentless. And here’s the funny part. If someone else talked to me the way I talked to myself, we would absolutely not be friends.

That realization alone changed things for me. Not because I magically fixed my thoughts overnight, but because I finally heard them. And once you hear them, you can’t unhear them.

What’s wild is how ingrained this is for most people. We’ve been doing it for so long that it just feels normal. I’ve had conversations where people catch themselves mid-sentence, start laughing, and say something like, “Wow… I just did it again.” They’re shocked by how often it happens once they start paying attention.

So here’s a simple experiment.

Just pay attention today.
When the next negative thing you say to yourself pops up, notice it.

That’s it. No fixing. No analyzing. Just awareness.

If this idea is clicking for you and you want help changing the way that internal dialogue actually works, you can check out Internal Dialogue Mastery. It walks you through how to recognize these patterns and start breaking the cycle without trying to “positive think” your way out of it.

Let’s Connect
If this resonated, you can reach me at Vinnie@LifeCoachVinnie.com or connect with me on Facebook or Instagram.

About Vinnie Merz
​Vinnie Merz is a life coach who helps high-performers take control of their anxiety and achieve their goals. With a background in law, real estate, and state government, he has led legal teams, real estate groups, and governmental teams while building multiple businesses. Having personally navigated high-pressure environments and anxiety himself, Vinnie now helps professionals calm their internal dialogue, regain confidence, and move forward with clarity.